Talk about unexpected heartbreak. I thought I ‘ve already learned to stop loving him a few months ago, but I thought wrong. That seriously took a while. I thought it was going to be impossible for me to get over my ex boyfriend because of the “love” I thought I had so much for him. Damn. All that time and love invested on him. Wooh. All gone to waste. Cliche moment: Another heartbreak, another lesson learned. It was pretty painful, considering the emotional factor of how awful of a person I thought I was, for not being wanted by him. Can you believe I actually thought that? …. Egh. Yea, me neither. Can you also believe that I practically swallowed my pride, my dignity (so to speak) as a girl even, for him? I told him I loved him even when I knew he didn’t love me back anymore. As the messages went on, another chance was brought up. But was also turned down after a moment’s pass… Then. Right at that moment, I felt the closure that swept in. It was the closure I’ve been waiting for. It swept through me like gigantic waves crashing on the shore. Sudden but refreshing. I’ve said this multiple times before, and people rarely believed me when I did. But perhaps now they would think differently, because I have living breathing proof that this is now all just a part of my past. My heart is back in its full condition as a full-on fighter against all of love’s adversaries. (: Given enough time, even the impossible becomes possible.
I can now finally say that I have moved on and I am officially over him.
3:15am Tuesday, 071712
Reading between the lines of love.
AD INFINITUM PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS:
What we’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived..
COMING SOON at the Tan Yan Kee lobby on July 17, 2012.
Visit us to find out more. You know you want to.
(3CA3, UST, AY 2012-2013)
I dont like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it.
|—||Confidence quotes (via mainlymusic)|
The past few weeks haven’t been the best of what I’m normally put through. It’s been difficult with the family. People aren’t getting along. Accusations put out here and there. Pain, yelling, suffering. For me in the most part… Hmm. Whatever. I know God’s always by my side. and I know he wouldn’t put me through anything TOO harsh without being able to get through it. I just laugh everything off. Er, well. I try. Although people may think I’m happy and jolly as can be at school, they are terribly mistaken. Wrong.. Just so wrong. Hah -__-. I have just mastered the art of faking my happiness, my smile, my whole no-worry attitude. But at times when I just can’t fake it anymore, my whole bitch attitude just paves its way; goes on overdrive. My academics have been quite affected too because of the way things are going at home. I have a hard time focusing on schoolwork now due to paranoia’s effects. You know, studies were right about how things at home can and WILL affect a person in aspects all elsewhere. Bleh. What fucking ever though. I’m tired of ranting about this fam shit. The mere thought of it just pisses me off. Fuck.
Long story short, ASDFIASDFHATEASDFMYASDFFATHERASDFITSASDFALLASDFHISASDFFAULTASDF.
Sorry, I’d hate to end this on a bad note. But I just had to let that out. Spilling my heart out to this site isn’t so bad after all. It’s kind of rejuvinating, actually. So haters/potaters, go ahead and hate/potate. Now shut the hell up, and go fuck a tree.
I keep thinking about things I’m not supposed to be thinking about. People I’m not even supposed to give a damn about. Possibilities that are far from reach, that I’m not even fully sure about. These are all 10 steps ahead of the present situation I’m really supposed to be worrying about. About about about. About… About. K, sorry for sounding like an idiot there. I’m on a high, on a high, la la la lala la. This blog gravitates more toward the random side of things. So if you get creeped out by my lack of point, my only suggestion would beee.. just not to.
- Kaya join nalang kayo! Let’s all have a gooood timeeeee.
Ohmygod, Thor just destroyed the rainbow bridge! :O K. If you’ve seen my current tweets you’d know just why I mentioned that awkwardly random statement. Speaking of tweets, I just tweeted a guy I dated last year (summer’10). I think that may have been my most adventurous summer yet. Er, wait. Nope. Nevermind. That was ‘09. Hah. Okay segway. I keep losing track of what I’m saying in this thing. LMAO. ANYWAY, AS I WAS SAYING, the guy I dated last year. His name’s Rocky. He’s a drummer/vocalist. I’m seriously into musicians. <3 They’re just talented all the way through; from their noggin, all the way to their fingertips. —And to think that HE actually came up to ME first. It was during their 1st album launch. Ahh, he was so sweet!— Some may know him, some may not. Yadayada. But considering the success his band is making now, I believe many already DO know him. Blah, he’s a member of The Bloomfields. Really good band. (I actually love the type of music they play.) Now going back to Rocky.. The way we met was, magical. <3 To say the least. Hahaha, here we go with the reminiscing again.. Noo!
Whatever. I’m just gonna keep this short and simple. Okay. So we went out, watched a few movies together, had a good time blahblahblah. School started. We stopped dating. I guess it was my fault.. No regrets (
total lie, I still regret about not getting back to him when he still wanted me, upto this very day). The end. Now the reason I’m telling you about him in this portion of my blog is because, THOR was actually the FIRST movie we saw together on our very 1st date. (: HMM. Thor. So many memories in that single word alone… Memories to be cherished. Memories I’ll forever keep as wonders of my past.
Whooooooooh, let’s see. What’s been going on in my life lately.
I have none. Although I do have a really ginormous CRUSH on someone right now. Haha I think he’s a musician too. Idk. I’m liking him ‘from a distance’. Just like how kids used to in elementary. HAHAHA. Whuuuuut! Can’t a college student have little ‘crushes’ like elementary kids can? PUPPY LOVE, for that matter?! AHHAHA. Whatevs. Anyway, he doesn’t know I like him. And I think I’m keeping it that way because I know for sure he won’t be into me and he might be in-like with someone else. I don’t even try to make eye-contact w/ him anymore. ): I’m trying to be as subtle about it as I can. I honestly don’t know how I started liking him. I don’t even know when or where. It just somehow, happened. Like Weirdo Cupid shot me with his shittyass version of an arrow. Hahaha. Getting back. I saw him todayyy. (:
I actually have a class with him. HOHOHO. K. That’s a hint! I haven’t told anyone about this. Not even my closest friends. So Sam, Nikki, Che, Sarah. If you guys read this, lol please just. Shut up. BAHAHA. Anywho, I never have full convos with him. Ugh. We never talk… It sucks. Oh shit wait. We did talk.. that one time. 1st meeting. But I was too shy to continue the conversation. HAHAHA K like wtfuck, Irahhh. I was about to talk to him earlier but I just didn’t have the guts to do so. Or I think I did talk to him.. Wait. O_O I think I randomly blurted out to him how hot it was in the building at that moment. asdfghjdsjakvj gahh great. I’m not normally like this. I don’t stress out this much over a dude. HAHA seriously. I think this might be karma. For all the times I took the guys who liked me for granted, in highschool. Shiz. Done with that though. But if in fact this IS karma, I hope it doesn’t fuck me over BIGTIME because that’d be really disappointing.
If he happens to be inlove or infatuated with someone else, then it’s fine by me. I’ll just start crushin on him from afar once again! haha or maybe just move on. Regardless of the matter, if he ever reads this blog of mine and begins to contemplate about his chances of being my official Crush, I hope he won’t turn into a complacent cocky douchey jerky asshole that acts like he owns some place and who’s too cool for chicks. I hope he simply comes up and talks to me, starts things out as friends (or keeps things as friends), asks for my number or something, and all that jazz. Then we go from there. (:
I’m looking for a guy with the whole package, now I won’t expound on the whole package thing cause I want it to be somewhat concealed. Hahaha but basically I want a bestfriend, someone who can keep up with me. Which is impossible to find. Lol. I have a fetish for musicians though. Gah. <3
HAHA thanks GG!