It’s crazy how fast time flies nowadays. I mean it always has seemed that way, but lately time has been somewhat more of a luxury than the usual everyday pleasure we enjoy it as. It’s been a while since I last posted anything on here, so forgive the seemingly endless pour out of words and emotions. When I write on this site, the ability to escape from reality and the liberty provided to release the internal mess that I have inside my head is accepted as nothing more than what it should be. And I believe this time of my life is when I need an outlet like this, most…
A few weeks from now, I will be entering the college of LAW. It has always been my dream to be able to showcase and make use of the competencies I have acquired in my undergrad years, tailored specifically for this field of study. It has always been my dream to extensively learn about the law and go through whatever it takes to become the lawyer I am destined to be, and defend those that cannot defend themselves in this society. The dream is now finally here. But so is the undying nervousness, stress and anxiety I have in my system. Need I forget to mention that the school I have enrolled in is also a dream school that I have been aiming to get into ever since I decided to take up law. (San Beda College of Law - top 3rd law school in the Philippines) The idea of law school is easy, the tough part comes and hits you in the face the minute you step foot into this reality and cross the threshold of the existing challenges that this concept is made out of.
A lot of sacrifices will have to be made once I begin this journey to success. I have already prepared myself for that. Social life, going out, spending time with family, and a whole lot more. Albeit people keep telling me to lose the lovelife before I enter law school, I firmly refuse to do so. You rarely come across true love nowadays, and once you find that person that makes your heart skip a beat like no one else can, the best thing you can do is to keep that love aflame. And I’m willing to do just that. Why let go of the only person that gives you love, happiness, and hope in life? If they really do love you, they’ll understand how difficult it is to be in law school and remain yours until you graduate and until you can give them all your time and all of you again. Balancing law and love may not be easy, but the hardships will all be worth it in the end.
Lately, I’ve been on house arrest due to a few unwanted occurrences that my parents/grandparents caused. It’s been really hard, considering that I got myself used to the routine of going out everyday after graduation, spending time with friends and my boyfriend. I guess it was partly my fault for abusing the small silver of freedom I was given….but then again, naah, it wasn’t. It really wasn’t my fault. And I’m willing to back myself up on this argument. Hahahaha trust me, it definitely was not my fault as to why I got into this whole mess. Like I said on twitter, this is worse than quarantine. I’m a healthy upbeat person, living the life of a prisoner on house arrest, with only a few weeks left to enjoy the life of a normal person. How sad is this. Really now. I can’t. I just can’t. I’m going crazy. Out of my mind. The only person keeping sane nowadays is Ivler. Sigh…. We’ve been going through a rough patch as well, due to not seeing each other much and a few other circumstances… but we’ll get through this. I know we can. I know we will. I’ve been asking him about whether or not he thinks he can handle my being busy in law school. He always responds with a confident YES. Sigh, I love how strong he is and how much he’s willing to do for our relationship. I may pick fights with him a lot, but that’s just my way of seeing how much of me he can handle. So far, he’s been passing my tests. Except maybe for that one problem we have, which he knows about. Which I’m hoping he’s willing to get rid of….. I’m not sure if he’ll ever read this blog of mine, because I’m keeping this post a secret from many. But if in case he does, I want him to know how much I love him and how special he is to me. He’s the love of my life. He has my heart. He’s my everything. Forever to go? Forever to go. I love him so much. I’m in love with him, and nothing will ever change that. (Unless of course he does something completely unacceptable.) These problems are nothing but a speedbump in this fast paced race we call life.
If you ever feel like giving up on something because you find it too difficult, just remember that God doesn’t give you any battles he knows you can’t conquer. Never give up. Never lose hope. Believe. For it will all be worth it in the end.
Never give up on something you love. Be it law. Be it life. Be it love.