Genuinity Speaks.
Law. Life. Love.

It’s crazy how fast time flies nowadays. I mean it always has seemed that way, but lately time has been somewhat more of a luxury than the usual everyday pleasure we enjoy it as. It’s been a while since I last posted anything on here, so forgive the seemingly endless pour out of words and emotions. When I write on this site, the ability to escape from reality and the liberty provided to release the internal mess that I have inside my head is accepted as nothing more than what it should be. And I believe this time of my life is when I need an outlet like this, most…

A few weeks from now, I will be entering the college of LAW. It has always been my dream to be able to showcase and make use of the competencies I have acquired in my undergrad years, tailored specifically for this field of study. It has always been my dream to extensively learn about the law and go through whatever it takes to become the lawyer I am destined to be, and defend those that cannot defend themselves in this society. The dream is now finally here. But so is the undying nervousness, stress and anxiety I have in my system. Need I forget to mention that the school I have enrolled in is also a dream school that I have been aiming to get into ever since I decided to take up law. (San Beda College of Law - top 3rd law school in the Philippines) The idea of law school is easy, the tough part comes and hits you in the face the minute you step foot into this reality and cross the threshold of the existing challenges that this concept is made out of.

A lot of sacrifices will have to be made once I begin this journey to success. I have already prepared myself for that. Social life, going out, spending time with family, and a whole lot more. Albeit people keep telling me to lose the lovelife before I enter law school, I firmly refuse to do so. You rarely come across true love nowadays, and once you find that person that makes your heart skip a beat like no one else can, the best thing you can do is to keep that love aflame. And I’m willing to do just that. Why let go of the only person that gives you love, happiness, and hope in life? If they really do love you, they’ll understand how difficult it is to be in law school and remain yours until you graduate and until you can give them all your time and all of you again. Balancing law and love may not be easy, but the hardships will all be worth it in the end.

Lately, I’ve been on house arrest due to a few unwanted occurrences that my parents/grandparents caused. It’s been really hard, considering that I got myself used to the routine of going out everyday after graduation, spending time with friends and my boyfriend. I guess it was partly my fault for abusing the small silver of freedom I was given….but then again, naah, it wasn’t. It really wasn’t my fault. And I’m willing to back myself up on this argument. Hahahaha trust me, it definitely was not my fault as to why I got into this whole mess. Like I said on twitter, this is worse than quarantine. I’m a healthy upbeat person, living the life of a prisoner on house arrest, with only a few weeks left to enjoy the life of a normal person. How sad is this. Really now. I can’t. I just can’t. I’m going crazy. Out of my mind. The only person keeping sane nowadays is Ivler. Sigh…. We’ve been going through a rough patch as well, due to not seeing each other much and a few other circumstances… but we’ll get through this.  I know we can. I know we will. I’ve been asking him about whether or not he thinks he can handle my being busy in law school. He always responds with a confident YES. Sigh, I love how strong he is and how much he’s willing to do for our relationship. I may pick fights with him a lot, but that’s just my way of seeing how much of me he can handle. So far, he’s been passing my tests. Except maybe for that one problem we have, which he knows about. Which I’m hoping he’s willing to get rid of….. I’m not sure if he’ll ever read this blog of mine, because I’m keeping this post a secret from many. But if in case he does, I want him to know how much I love him and how special he is to me. He’s the love of my life. He has my heart. He’s my everything. Forever to go? Forever to go. I love him so much. I’m in love with him, and nothing will ever change that. (Unless of course he does something completely unacceptable.) These problems are nothing but a speedbump in this fast paced race we call life.

If you ever feel like giving up on something because you find it too difficult, just remember that God doesn’t give you any battles he knows you can’t conquer. Never give up. Never lose hope. Believe. For it will all be worth it in the end.

Never give up on something you love. Be it law. Be it life. Be it love.

8:53pm. 052314.

"I’m sorry… You deserve someone better than me.. ):" — The magic words I’ve been waiting for. Said and done. Closed.
Closure.

Talk about unexpected heartbreak. I thought I ‘ve already learned to stop loving him a few months ago, but I thought wrong. That seriously took a while. I thought it was going to be impossible for me to get over my ex boyfriend because of the “love” I thought I had so much for him. Damn. All that time and love invested on him. Wooh. All gone to waste. Cliche moment: Another heartbreak, another lesson learned. It was pretty painful, considering the emotional factor of how awful of a person I thought I was, for not being wanted by him. Can you believe I actually thought that? …. Egh. Yea, me neither. Can you also believe that I practically swallowed my pride, my dignity (so to speak) as a girl even, for him? I told him I loved him even when I knew he didn’t love me back anymore. As the messages went on, another chance was brought up. But was also turned down after a moment’s pass… Then. Right at that moment, I felt the closure that swept in. It was the closure I’ve been waiting for. It swept through me like gigantic waves crashing on the shore. Sudden but refreshing. I’ve said this multiple times before, and people rarely believed me when I did. But perhaps now they would think differently, because I have living breathing proof that this is now all just a part of my past. My heart is back in its full condition as a full-on fighter against all of love’s adversaries. (: Given enough time, even the impossible becomes possible.

I can now finally say that I have moved on and I am officially over him.

3:15am Tuesday, 071712

Reading between the lines of love.

AD INFINITUM PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS:
What we’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived.. 
 INVESTIGATOM. 


COMING SOON at the Tan Yan Kee lobby on July 17, 2012. Visit us to find out more. You know you want to.
(3CA3, UST, AY 2012-2013)

AD INFINITUM PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS:

What we’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived..
 

 INVESTIGATOM.

COMING SOON at the Tan Yan Kee lobby on July 17, 2012.
Visit us to find out more. You know you want to.

(3CA3, UST, AY 2012-2013)

Frank Ocean - Thinkin Bout You
1,539 plays

simplylemur:

I dont like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it.

People will always talk about you. Might as well give them something to talk about
Confidence quotes (via mainlymusic)
Homebound?

The past few weeks haven’t been the best of what I’m normally put through. It’s been difficult with the family. People aren’t getting along. Accusations put out here and there. Pain, yelling, suffering. For me in the most part… Hmm. Whatever. I know God’s always by my side. and I know he wouldn’t put me through anything TOO harsh without being able to get through it. I just laugh everything off. Er, well. I try. Although people may think I’m happy and jolly as can be at school, they are terribly mistaken. Wrong.. Just so wrong. Hah -__-. I have just mastered the art of faking my happiness, my smile, my whole no-worry attitude. But at times when I just can’t fake it anymore, my whole bitch attitude just paves its way; goes on overdrive. My academics have been quite affected too because of the way things are going at home. I have a hard time focusing on schoolwork now due to paranoia’s effects. You know, studies were right about how things at home can and WILL affect a person in aspects all elsewhere. Bleh. What fucking ever though. I’m tired of ranting about this fam shit. The mere thought of it just pisses me off. Fuck.

Long story short, ASDFIASDFHATEASDFMYASDFFATHERASDFITSASDFALLASDFHISASDFFAULTASDF.

Sorry, I’d hate to end this on a bad note. But I just had to let that out. Spilling my heart out to this site isn’t so bad after all. It’s kind of rejuvinating, actually. So haters/potaters, go ahead and hate/potate. Now shut the hell up, and go fuck a tree.

Your entertainment. My ventilation.

Scattered thoughts.

I keep thinking about things I’m not supposed to be thinking about. People I’m not even supposed to give a damn about. Possibilities that are far from reach, that I’m not even fully sure about. These are all 10 steps ahead of the present situation I’m really supposed to be worrying about. About about about. About… About. K, sorry for sounding like an idiot there. I’m on a high, on a high, la la la lala la. This blog gravitates more toward the random side of things. So if you get creeped out by my lack of point, my only suggestion would beee.. just not to.

  • Kaya join nalang kayo! Let’s all have a gooood timeeeee.

Past Love?

Ohmygod, Thor just destroyed the rainbow bridge! :O K. If you’ve seen my current tweets you’d know just why I mentioned that awkwardly random statement. Speaking of tweets, I just tweeted a guy I dated last year (summer’10). I think that may have been my most adventurous summer yet. Er, wait. Nope. Nevermind. That was ‘09. Hah. Okay segway. I keep losing track of what I’m saying in this thing. LMAO. ANYWAY, AS I WAS SAYING, the guy I dated last year. His name’s Rocky. He’s a drummer/vocalist. I’m seriously into musicians. <3 They’re just talented all the way through; from their noggin, all the way to their fingertips. —And to think that HE actually came up to ME first. It was during their 1st album launch. Ahh, he was so sweet!— Some may know him, some may not. Yadayada. But considering the success his band is making now, I believe many already DO know him. Blah, he’s a member of The Bloomfields. Really good band. (I actually love the type of music they play.) Now going back to Rocky.. The way we met was, magical. <3 To say the least. Hahaha, here we go with the reminiscing again.. Noo!

Whatever. I’m just gonna keep this short and simple. Okay. So we went out, watched a few movies together, had a good time blahblahblah. School started. We stopped dating. I guess it was my fault.. No regrets (total lie, I still regret about not getting back to him when he still wanted me, upto this very day). The end. Now the reason I’m telling you about him in this portion of my blog is because, THOR was actually the FIRST movie we saw together on our very 1st date. (: HMM. Thor. So many memories in that single word alone… Memories to be cherished. Memories I’ll forever keep as wonders of my past.

Whooooooooh, let’s see. What’s been going on in my life lately.

Current lovelife?

I have none. Although I do have a really ginormous CRUSH on someone right now. Haha I think he’s a musician too. Idk. I’m liking him ‘from a distance’. Just like how kids used to in elementary. HAHAHA. Whuuuuut! Can’t a college student have little ‘crushes’ like elementary kids can? PUPPY LOVE, for that matter?! AHHAHA. Whatevs. Anyway, he doesn’t know I like him. And I think I’m keeping it that way because I know for sure he won’t be into me and he might be in-like with someone else. I don’t even try to make eye-contact w/ him anymore. ): I’m trying to be as subtle about it as I can. I honestly don’t know how I started liking him. I don’t even know when or where. It just somehow, happened. Like Weirdo Cupid shot me with his shittyass version of an arrow. Hahaha. Getting back. I saw him todayyy. (: I actually have a class with him. HOHOHO. K. That’s a hint! I haven’t told anyone about this. Not even my closest friends. So Sam, Nikki, Che, Sarah. If you guys read this, lol please just. Shut up. BAHAHA. Anywho, I never have full convos with him. Ugh. We never talk… It sucks. Oh shit wait. We did talk.. that one time. 1st meeting. But I was too shy to continue the conversation. HAHAHA K like wtfuck, Irahhh. I was about to talk to him earlier but I just didn’t have the guts to do so. Or I think I did talk to him.. Wait. O_O I think I randomly blurted out to him how hot it was in the building at that moment. asdfghjdsjakvj gahh great. I’m not normally like this. I don’t stress out this much over a dude. HAHA seriously. I think this might be karma. For all the times I took the guys who liked me for granted, in highschool. Shiz. Done with that though. But if in fact this IS karma, I hope it doesn’t fuck me over BIGTIME because that’d be really disappointing.

If he happens to be inlove or infatuated with someone else, then it’s fine by me. I’ll just start crushin on him from afar once again! haha or maybe just move on. Regardless of the matter, if he ever reads this blog of mine and begins to contemplate about his chances of being my official Crush, I hope he won’t turn into a complacent cocky douchey jerky asshole that acts like he owns some place and who’s too cool for chicks. I hope he simply comes up and talks to me, starts things out as friends (or keeps things as friends), asks for my number or something, and all that jazz. Then we go from there. (:

TGIF.

what are you looking for in a guy?

I’m looking for a guy with the whole package, now I won’t expound on the whole package thing cause I want it to be somewhat concealed. Hahaha but basically I want a bestfriend, someone who can keep up with me. Which is impossible to find. Lol. I have a fetish for musicians though. Gah. <3

Nice! You already have a tumblr! Haha! Cool hair, cant get used to seeing it all black though, anyway looks good on you :))

HAHA thanks GG!